It worked for 20 years until...

For 20 years, I’ve designed websites for my best friend - someone I’ve known for more than 30 years. Over the years, I’ve built sites for their business, their books, and their personal brand. But this week, that all changed - and surprisingly, it’s not a bad thing.

Every couple of years it was time for a new site, and that process kicked off recently. It was a time I was always excited about - time to do something fresh and new.

We spent a bit of time face-to-face (doesn’t happen very often these days) and did a design brief, talked about what the new site was to focus on, content and how it should be structured. Full steam ahead.

We got started on the design and after a couple of tweaks it was time to get feedback from the marketing people.

Now it should be noted that these marketing people were engaged after the project start so had no input to the brief, but boy did they have feedback after.

Without going into all the details, I reached a point where I couldn’t cope with how the project was making me feel, or with how the marketing person was treating me. I felt disrespected and treated like I was a low level employee - not the experienced web design/developer and agency owner that I am.

A conversation was had with my friend about how to move forward. I didn’t want to lose them as a client, but I didn’t want to carry on feeling like this, so we both took the weekend to ponder and work out how we wanted to progress.

On Monday we chatted and I had come to the conclusion that if feedback on design (BTW I had built a fair chunk of the site already) was done then I was happy to carry on. My friend had come to the opposite conclusion that for the sake of our friendship - which is way more important - that their marketing people should take over the project and complete it.

Interesting we came to the opposite decision.

Turns out that the marketing people were nowhere near finished giving feedback and design direction so the decision was made to move on.

While I’m gutted to lose a long-term client, I know putting our friendship first was the right call. I’m still working through the emotional aftermath, but I’m already starting to feel lighter.

The lesson? If you’re working with friends or family and something doesn’t feel right, don’t ignore it. Have the conversation. Do what you need to do to protect the relationship. Work can come and go, but the people who matter should stay.